by Randy Schroeder
Heal. Isn't that a great word?
It brings to mind the thought of wholeness and health. Prior to healing, there is sickness or pain or brokenness of some kind. It's very easy for us to recognize when we are physically sick and in need of healing. I wonder if we could learn to develop the same awareness when our marriage is in need of healing.
Sometimes it's obvious to us that something isn't right and in need of healing. For me, I lived almost the first decade of my marriage unaware that there was hurt piling up in my wife's heart that wasn't getting healed. We got really good at ignoring it.
We thought the solution to our hurts was that we just needed to forgive our spouse even though they did't ask for forgiveness. While there is a measure of truth to that, it is not the ideal, Biblical plan of healing. Over time, I began to learn the multifaceted ways that God was actively loving my spouse, but unfortunately much of that He was doing apart from me, even though He wanted me to represent His hands and feet and mouth to my wife. Not only was I missing a lot of opportunities to join God in loving Staci well, but I was at times working against what God was trying to do in healing my wife of childhood pain. And I was adding additional new pain, that we only started healing about 10 years into marriage.
But after a few months of going after that unhealed pain, we came to a new place where we had healed everything that had ever needed healing between us. It was amazing. And we have for the most part, been able to heal new hurts along the way so that there is nothing swept under the rug. That is one of the beautiful processes that over 40% of the Hope Church married couples have been trained in, by Karl Elkins in his 3-day marriage workshop.
The potential is huge for our church body to learn how to be really good at healing and to then share that salt and light with our spheres of influence. Shouldn't the world look at the church and say, "you guys have the best marriages in the community"?
God, will You please help us learn how to do that? We are on that exciting path. Lord, please let us represent You well to the watching world.